“A sunrise and a sunset look pretty much the same. It all depends which direction you’re facing.”
That’s it for today, my attitude and my opinion. It feels far more insightful than it is, I’m sure, but in this moment, it’s life altering.
I’m going through another of my moods, my periods of malcontent, of questioning reality and wondering about all kinds of things for which there are no discernible answers. It’s an irritating stage of life, I’m going through. Things don’t always add up or end up as planned and I have this nagging feeling I am the brunt of some cosmic joke. I’m not amused and I’m spending lots of time trying to exert personal power to make change, feeling pretty confident that I can’t. The conflict is annoying but I find I can’t stop beating my head against the wall of it.
My old ways are driving me to find answers, work it out, make a plan, execute and move on. My newfound, hopefully slightly more enlightened, self is pulling back on the reins, suggesting that before I charge off on some unknown, yet to be discovered path to God knows where, I might want to sit with this discomfort and allow myself the time to examine what it’s all about. The old me grumbles, “Bullshit” and stomps out of the room. Obviously, there’s not much room for compromise between these two.
But yesterday while watching the sun set from high on top of the Mayacama Mountains, it came to me, endings and beginning look very much alike when you don’t know which way you’re facing. And as such, could there be a chance that one could orient themselves intentionally to experience a beginning out of what is actually an ending?
What if I decide, because I can, that last night’s sunset was the beginning of something new for me, that it was the dawning of a new era and that I can move forward, headed there, just because I say so?
If I orient my beliefs and my personal reality to support my perspective, I believe it holds the power to boost me through this transitional stage and into something of substance that will bring with it more than just another day of marginal comfort and acceptable existence.
It’s worth a try, I say.
Just for today, I will orient myself in the light of a sunrise, looking forward, expecting new and wonderful things to unfold. I will take full advantage of what is intended for me. Why not?
Quite frankly, the alternative, the polar opposite, doesn’t seem a viable option. I’ve been through the seemingly endless darkness of an impending ending that drug on far too long. It’s time to turn my face to the warmth of what is new and unexplored, with all the expectation of greatness and let it happen.
So, today, I will watch the sunrise. Twice.